areolas are like halos for boobs.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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