there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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