thus making me awesome and them whores
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Someone shattered a urinal.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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