i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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