I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
