Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
