I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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