you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
