he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My pussy is not your playground.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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