Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
