"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
