I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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