Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
