I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
