Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize