i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
