he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
