she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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