She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
