Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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