She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
