that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
