Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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