Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
