today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
