She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
