dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
should my penis look like a turkey
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
