apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
