therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
