A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
