Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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