I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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