hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
