so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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