Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
