just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
do herpes really smell.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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