are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
