next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
