pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
