Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
