But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Randomize
