trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
this hospital has no fireball
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
