Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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