i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
