so that wasnt chicken after all
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
