Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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