You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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