have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
worst night to have a conscience
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
