I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
