My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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