Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
