i think my mom watched the whole time
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
