i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize