jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
