Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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