Jerry, you need to find god
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
