i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
