suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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